When one door closes...

Another one should open.

Here's the thing.

Deep breath.

I am now unemployed.

And honestly? I'm not scared.

Exhale.

In a nutshell, the company that I worked for was effected by the economy. Some of you may or may not know, that started taking place last year, when my hours were cut. I freaked. I wasn't sure how we'd make things work around here, as we seem to constantly get ourselves over one hurdle only to find another one staring us in the face. Likely taller, harder, and more severe. Which is why the Husband and I refer to Livin' On A Prayer (from Bon Jovi, for those of you that have just crawled out from under a rock and gone directly to AT&T to purchase a CrackBerry) as "our song." I had the inkling that things were not getting better. Turns out, I was right. For the first time ever, I had to leave my job involuntarily.

Now, of course, I am upset. Who wouldn't be? But, I understand why. I've been told over and over that it was purely economical. And I get that. I honestly feel as though they were my family. It was a real family, we laughed, we fought, ultimately, we all worked together to make great things happen. My direct boss and I have a very interesting relationship. We can finish each other's sentences, we bicker, we just "get" each other. The owner referred to us as the old married couple. And some days, it did feel like I work with the Husband. (Minus the attraction.) So how ironic was it to find out upon leaving, that our own individual security codes (a 4-digit number that you choose to work the alarm) were the same? Crazy, right?

Anywho, let's get to the meat of this. I'm not scared. First, I will be continuing to work with them. And if/when they get more clients and work, I will be back. But, the Husband and I have been working toward a goal. A goal that will keep me home with the kidlets more. One that does not require making the equivalent of one car payment per week for childcare. One that keeps us all in a good mood, and easily accessible. Back when I was graduating college, my goal was that by the time I turned 35, I wanted to run my own business. Here I am, partway into the second anniversary of my 29th birthday, and I am working for me.

You know, the Husband and I aren't "financially stable." We never have been. We're just like most of America right now, where sometimes we struggle to make ends meet. Raising two kids isn't cheap. Owning a home isn't cheap. Maintaining two vehicles isn't cheap. Healthcare isn't cheap. Heck, eating isn't cheap, either. But we're going to make this work.

I still have freelance through two viable sources. I just need to add more to my arsenal. And undoubtedly, I have learned the skills over the past nine years in the industry that make me an asset. I know what my talents are. I know where I lack (PLEASE, don't require me to even operate a calculator). And for that, I'm not scared. I'm excited to get the daughter off the bus. I'm excited to hang out with the Son while he's in a stage of growth where I absolutely adore him. (The teenage years? I'm not really looking forward to that). And the Husband is happy that I will be home more. That he won't have to cook dinner every night. Even if we're splitting a can of peas. (Blech!)

There's some really strange things about the timing of this. First, I made my new website live the day I was laid off. Seriously. It's not done, so I'm not sharing yet. Check back later. Second, the Husband had a "Year Ahead" type questionnaire to hand in for work on that same day. One of his 5 goals he had to list? "Put our family in a better place, so I can fully support my wife in her own entrepreneurial venture." Third, well, there is no third. Except that now I have the time to help my mother in her own shenanigans with Basset Hound Rescue. And that really excites me, because she's becoming a very successful writer, and I'm happy to get to be a part of it.

Don't take this the wrong way, because I know there's a lot of people out there that are devastated to not be working. Trust me, I'll still be working. And if I had nothing to fall back on, I'd be up a creek. With no paddle. In a canoe. With two kids that aren't great swimmers. Yeah. But honestly, I'm being positive. 2010 is still going to be a great year for me. It has to be.

Because if I were to only look at the negative, that would be too easy. Like how I have purchased a Cadillac a month before I was jobless. And how the morning I was making my first trip to the unemployment office, I got a flat tire. And then got there too late, they were booked for the entire day. And on my second trip, getting there before opening, learning that I would not be helped that day either. And that the phone service was worse. And then having the neighbor's oil company accidentally put 84 gallons of heating oil into my tank and expecting me to pay the bill. And coming home to not having a working internet connection, thus rendering any sort of freelance work impossible.

It's all positive. Because ultimately, the Cadillac is cheaper than the Saab. Between repairs and everything else, we're not spending more money than we were. And the Brother-In-Law was able to fix my tire for free. And the oil company? Will get their reduced amount of money when we feel like paying them. But we won't run out of heat! I took on the internet and won. And have turned in two books to their respective clients since. And then, I went to the grocery store and found a bunch of yesterday's meat on clearance and have a week's worth of meals for $25. Because now I can get to the grocery store early.

This is my Rocktober, happening in January (note: check out the badge credit). We're halfway there. Bring on 2010!