Is that horns?

Yes, this is what I thought to myself as I stepped out onto the back porch today. And then heard the Son ask, "Mama, why does The Neighbor have a goat in his yard?" Our yards are separated by a small chain link fence (his) that has some sort of plant growing through it that everyone in New England refers to as "pickies." I look over the fence, and sure as hell, there is a goat staring back at me. He looks just as confused by his new surroundings as I do.

So The Neighbor's friend is sitting in Neighbor's backyard with this goat--I have no idea if it belongs to this guy and is just visiting or if Neighbor has actually taken ownership of said goat. But when Teddy noticed this thing next door, Friend said, "Neighbor, I told you that dog would scare your goat." This goat is now scared and jumping to try and run away, but he is tied to the fence and the trash cans keep getting caught on his rope. I put Theo in the house and the Son is still at the fence, saying "I never seen a goat here before."

The Neighbor comes over with a small cooler of beer and says to the son, "You're scaring him." WHAT? My three-year-old son is scaring YOUR goat? Do you own a mirror to begin with? And this friend that arrived with this goat...did you notice that he's a little freakier than...well, most people? Yeah. I'm pretty sure this goat is freaked out because he's tied to a fence with interference. I'd go take a picture, but the guys are sitting out there with the goat.

I'm sorry, who rides around with a goat in the truck? Who visits with a goat? This thing can't be here to stay. Although, now that I'm inside and can spy without them noticing, there is a goat house there now, too. And a big food container. And his name is Alf. I never thought I'd live next door to someone with a goat. And it's not like we live on land, people. We're in an old mill neighborhood. Houses are close together (which always makes me nervous when I have to whip out my "Mama Wins" voice on the son. But apparently the other neighbors are not so worried for the same reasons).

Wait a minute, why can't I have chickens?