Mama's Bitchin' Kitchen: A Recipe

I don't normally give out recipes, because quite honestly, I'd rather make them for you. It's a control thing. If I've taken my time to write up a recipe, I'm always worried that I'll give it out, someone will scribble it down and then mess it all up. And then that would ruin my 'rep around these parts. So hold onto your hats, this is a good one.

It's only week two of the new year, and judging by the attendance at the gym lately, people are still on this losin' weight thing for a resolution. How long until this wears off? 'Cause if I've gotta scrounge up a matching set of dumbbells again at the gym, I'm going to lose my patience.

One of the hardest things for me after a tough workout is to fight the voracious appetite that follows for the rest of the day. So I try to keep high-protein items around to keep me filled up. And I'm attempting to drink more water. Which has made me acutely aware that I need to stock up on entirely more toilet paper than I have been lately. But anyhow, one of the recipes I've worked up lately is a good granola recipe. I make a batch, and even the kidlets are crazy for this stuff. Get your pen:

 

Mama's Granola

*All of these items are from the bulk section of the grocery store. Not sure where they keep it?
Look around the organics. Or close to produce. 

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DRY INGREDIENTS:

2 c. raw rolled oats (NOT quick-cooking)

1/2 c. Almonds--slivered or whole, but if whole, use a food chopper or processor. 

1/2 c. Soy Nuts

1/4 c. Pistachios, chopped

1/3 c. coconut

Dash cinnamon

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WET INGREDIENTS:

1/2 c. honey

2-3 Tbsp. Vegetable oil

2-3 Tbsp. Molasses

1/4 c. brown sugar

pinch of sea salt

Preheat oven to 350. Spray a cookie sheet with nonstick spray. Mix dry ingredients in a huge bowl. In a small pan, combine your wet ingredients and mix with a whisk until blended and thin, not gloppy. Add wet ingredients to dry and thoroughly coat. Spread on cookie sheet and bake for 20-25 minutes. Pull out of oven and let cool and harden before putting into a glass jar or plastic bag. Scoop out and eat! 

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A few notes:

• Spray your measuring cup with nonstick spray before measuring your honey--then it won't stick. (Coat your spatula and bowl, too, if you wish)
• You can add 1 tsp. vanilla to the wet ingredients *after* you remove it from the heat. I did not, and I add vanilla to EVERYTHING. I think this is great without it. 
• On my first run, I ran out of honey. So I added a bit of Karo Light Corn Syrup to the mix. Personally, I think that batch turned out better. The Husband likes this batch with all honey. Try both, see what you like. 
• Use Vegetable oil, not olive oil. Olive oil has a lower smoking point. You can use a canola or corn oil, but I would stick with a vegetable base at least. Enova is great oil, too. 
• I added more soy nuts the second time around. The Husband first tasted them from the bag and was disgusted by them. But add them all together, and I swear it is amazing. 

Now, go forth and eat! 

Waving good-bye...or hello?

So here we are, facing a whole new year. Everyone seems to be pretty split, like 80/20 bad year/good year. I think the Husband and I fall somewhere in the 20%. We had a lot thrown our way, and both of us have agreed, that while some times were emotionally taxing, we dealt with everything with grace and we did well, as we always do. No doubt, hard times have made the two of us become closer, and we're proud of that. So here's what our 2010 looked like:

First, I lost my job. And while it was tough to be one of the statistics, I decided I was going to embrace it and move forward with the plan that I decided a long time ago: to be running my own successful business by the time I was 35.

I joined a gym for the first time ever. I decided that there's no time like the present to get healthy. And it's working!

I became more active in the Daughter's school by helping design the yearbook and volunteering at BEPO (our version of the PTA) events. The husband and I believe that if we show a genuine interest in the things our kids like, they will take them seriously, too. The Daughter is excited that I get to be a part of these things--something I know will change all too soon, when she's ready to forget she has parents. I get overwhelmed with it, but in reality, I do love doing it. There's such a gratifying feeling when it's all done.

We were able to take our first "vacation" by taking a few days and going down to Easton, PA to the Crayola Factory. What a fantastic trip!

I met some new friends by signing the kidlets up for swimming lessons, and those friends have now become some of our closest friends lately.

We visited Lackey Dam Road. Multiple times. My mother-in-law was laid off this past year, too. So over the summer, we were out with the kidlets quite often, and whenever we seemed to get lost, we were on Lackey Dam Road. So it became the joke of the summer, "Hey kids, Lackey Dam Road!" It was the source of many, many, many laughs.

I became a cheerleading coach and the Cheerleading Commissioner for the Daughter's new league. If you know me, you know cheerleading is something I NEVER did. (I know, the irony!) But since the Daughter is a cheerleader, I decided that if I had to spend so much time at the fields, I was going to find a way to help out. And I did. I volunteered to work with an organization where I knew no one, and it has turned out to honestly be one of the best decisions I have made. I've come away with lots of new friends and an amazing group of people. Coaching is an amazing feeling, especially at the age where they really look up to you. I'm so proud of those girls, and even though I am learning just as they are, I hope they know that they all had just as large or larger of an impact on me as I did for them.

Quite possibly one of the hardest things I had to deal with this year was the decision to put my longtime companion, Teddy, down. I still miss him every day. Teddy had severe bone and muscle deterioration, and our vet thinks he likely developed a bone cancer. But he was 12 and medicine wasn't helping. So without making him suffer, I made the decision to send him to heaven with Klinger, Charles, and Bob. I miss him dearly, but I know in my heart that it was right, that he was in pain.

And then that night, I got to ride in an ambulance for the first time ever. One of my girls was in a stunt, and she "toed down" (when you point your toes down instead of keeping your feet flat), and her spots didn't catch her. I swear we heard her nose crack on the floor. Surprisingly, she didn't break it. Poor thing, I really don't know her well, and she had no one else to ride with her. So I held her hand and tried to comfort her, the best way I knew how. Which was still awkward, and even more so when her mother got there, but that's another story for another day. I needed a stiff drink.

We reworked our mortgage and did some work to our house. Our house was brand new when we bought it four years ago (!). But it's also a half-duplex. The other half looks just like ours. They even painted similar colors. So we've always known that we need to upkeep and do more to get more value out of our house. We put in new wood floors (which I love) and a new back door. We've got more plans for 2011 (tearing down our existing deck to deal with a water problem and rebuild it), but we're happy that we still own a great home.

I was able to rebuild my photography portfolio and start from fresh. (BTW, check me out!) I want to get behind the lens more. It still scares me, I'm way more confident in my design work, but there's something exhilarating about being pushed out of my comfort zone. I'd still like to expand my client base for design, but I'd like to have more balance. More time away from the computer. 

Most of all, we spent the holidays with friends and family. We didn't get to travel to Virginia Beach this year, as that just wasn't in the budget. But we did spend Turkey Day with our new found friends, a family with whom we've had many game nights and amazing campfire discussions. They've become very close to us, and it's a great feeling.

So looking forward, here's our 2011 plan:

The Husband and I are still committed to being healthier. I know, most people say this. But I've seen my body change over the past year. Now, if I could get rid of all this damn chocolate, we'll be on our way. (But we all know I can't be wasteful) The Husband has decided that he wants to be serious about getting healthier, as we're both not getting any younger. So we'll eat better, I'll continue with the gym 3-4 times a week, and we'll go from there.

I'm focusing more on my work here. I need to still build some client base, and that may mean working outside of the home. But we'll see. I've had some great conversations over the past few weeks, and let's just keep our fingers crossed. Also? A very good friend of mine just asked the love of his life to marry him, so I'll be shooting their wedding. Which will hopefully take place this year, but I haven't asked. I figure they're answering enough of those questions, I'll just let them enjoy being engaged. I'm also hoping to build enough of a schedule to keep busy when the Son goes to school in the fall (*tear*). But I want to still have boatloads of fun with the kidlets and find a way to get more work done.

My ultimate goal/resolution? To feel better about myself. I spent the last 2-3 months of 2010 not comfortable. It was an emotionally taxing period. It felt like we tackled everything but the working for myself thing. Which is hard for me, I'm a very career-minded person, but a lot of my freelance tapered off. So it did awful things to my self-esteem. Pair that with falling off the gym horse and the Daughter saying things like "You need to suck it in, mom..." and you have a recipe for disaster. Now, I know she's only seven, and the jeans were a size too small, but paired with the time and place, I needed a pick me up. Note to self: the answer is NOT four Peppermint Mocha martinis.

Of course, I'm still going to bake more and cook more. 2010 was an awesome year for cooking and baking for me, and I'm convinced 2011 will be even better. I've learned some new skills, and paired with an amazing (cheap) produce shop and a garden, this is going to be one Bitchin' Kitchen. 

So here we go. We wave goodbye to 2010, take all the lessons we learned and tuck them away for future use. We say hello to 2011, 'cause we're gonna kick ass this year!

A milestone!

I haven't talked much about it here, but back in February, I decided I was going to get healthy. I wouldn't say I was unhealthy, but I wanted to be more active. I wanted to sleep better at night and have more energy during the day. I wanted to lose a bit of weight. Not much, but some. I joined a gym for the first time and have since gone on an average of three times a week. Some weeks I fall off the wagon, some weeks I'm there every day. I did meet with a trainer, but seriously? $60 a month to see them twice? Whatever. I'm a pretty strong person, but I never know how to gauge my strength. A few years ago, I took some golf lessons with a friend, and the instructor said to me, "you really don't know how much strength you have, do you?" No, but I can tell you where I don't have strength (biceps) and where I have the most (quads, adductors, abductors). I used to be incredibly flexible, but I can't run to save my life. In fact, I hope I never have to.

So for the first six weeks, I did it on my own. I did some cardio and strength training, four times a week. While I felt slightly stronger, I never lost a single pound. I know, everyone says, "don't pay attention to the scale." Right. Let's face it, no matter what we do, most of us could still stand to lose a few. So I started counting calories. That worked, even though I'm a relatively healthy eater. Yes, I love cupcakes and real butter, but I've never been on that crazy train where people are all "what do you mean I can't eat McDonald's four times a week and not be thin?"

I got myself a subscription to Fitness magazine (thanks to MyCokeRewards, it was free) and started to get a bit more serious about my workouts. Last week, finally, I have officially lost ten pounds and 5% body fat. Now that is results! I feel good, my clothes fit better, and I am starting to notice the difference. I've added more pilates and ab work to my routine, as I need to. But now, I've decided I'm going after the one avoidance: Running.

In this issue of Fitness, there are instructions on getting yourself into 5K gear. So I'm going to follow it, and I've found two 5K races for charity that I want to run in the fall. One is the Gloria Gemma Breast Cancer 5K in Providence, and the second is the Girly Girl Parts 5K for ovarian cancer in Sandwich, MA. I've given myself plenty of time to prep, and even enough time incase I happen to fall off the wagon again. And women's cancers are issues I fully support, so I'd rather benefit charity than do a YMCA race.

Truth be told, what I'd really love to do is a Sprint Triathalon, as I am a strong swimmer and I think I could handle the biking portion well. But that requires more training than I can handle right now, so maybe next year. Until then, wish me luck!

Coordination: I [does not] has it.

So we're thirty-five minutes deep into Zumba tonight, I'm in my usual spot, front row, slightly left with my girls (The real ones, Tay, Mama J, and the other Mama J; not the girls being contained on my chest). It's juicy, the fans aren't on and we've already sweated out breakfast and most of lunch (minus the cheesecake balls I keep hiding from the kidlets). We're doing a cross step move and the instructor is all "Bigger! Yeah, you got it!" to me. Because I'm in front, and you know how the class nerd is, right? Only, we switch to this sliding move and it happens so fast, I don't even see it coming. And I'm pretty sure I did the whole scramble thing on the way down, but it was just too slippery on the very obviously fake wood floor. And it takes me a second to recover. But I jump up and get right back in step. The instructor, who was standing next to me, turns to face me (while moving) and he's all "Are you okay?" Of course, in my head, I'm all "Please, I'm the girl that tripped and fell down the stairs at my junior prom. This ish happens to me all the time." But I just utter a "yeah" and keep moving.

After all, I was the girl who also fell down a flight of stairs while seven months pregnant at my best friend's mom's house the night before her wedding. 'Cause when I do it, I do it big.

Dear Fellow Gym Member,

I don't feel that I should really have to write a post on gym etiquette. It's been done too many times. However, today? You have really pissed me off. First of all, they make lockers that are kept in rooms called locker rooms. Go put your bag there instead of rifling through it every two minutes. And if I trip on the handle again because you insist on leaving it somewhere inappropriate, I am going to hurl it.

Second, stop staring at the women working out. Yes, we lift weights, too. Apparently more than you. But this ogre-like behavior? Will not land you any dates. And I'm pretty sure the girl you've walked past five time to stare at her ass yet again doesn't bat for your team. Leave her alone and wipe the drool off your mouth.

Lastly, just because you intend on using a piece of equipment does not mean you own it. Yes, I like the inverted leg press. Girls can use those machines, too. So when you stack 75lbs of weight discs on each side and then proceed to talk on your cell phone while pacing worse than my Husband, you need to get your show on the road. Just so you know, I used three other pieces of equipment, did my proper 3 sets of 16 reps, you finally sat down to attempt to lift all this weight you have now stacked up. Oh, wait, did you forget the main plate weighs 115 lbs? Yeah. That's what that big sticker says on it. And if you even try to make me think you've lifted anywhere near the 265 lbs you are now struggling to press, you must be out of your tree, because no one works out in "windpants" anymore and you? Just look like an asshat. Which is further proven when after two more phone calls, you left all that weight on your machine and didn't rerack it. You're not that important, so hang up the damn phone. Also? No one wants to sit in your butt sweat, so like the sign says, wipe down the machine when you're done.

I may be a novice to the gym, but just so we're clear, struggling through three "reps" of insane weight which is clearly too heavy for you and circling the gym four times to check out the ladies does not constitute a good workout. How you're sweating like a pig, I'm not sure. And next time you try to comment to me how you're feelin' your workout, try not to spit on me. Because apparently, I can lift more weight than you.*

K? Thanks,
—the mama (who was not in fact in red today, but purple instead)


*Umm, no, I can't do the 275 lbs with the inverted leg press. But I didn't drop the weight discs, either. And I did three full sets. Just so you know. =) 

Do you Zumba?

Have you heard of Zumba? Many of my friends across the blogosphere and facebook have tried it now. It's a cardio workout that infuses Latin hip hop, salsa, cha cha, and meringue with American hip hop, belly dancing, and general shakin' your booty. It's not just for women, there's a few guys that dare take classes. At my gym, which is a new gym, Monday night Zumba class usually sells out. By "sell out" I mean more than 60 people join in. It's crazy. I like the Tuesday morning class, the instructor is fantastic and the class isn't so full. Each instructor has their own style, and that's good. Although, we have one instructor who is TERRIBLE. I felt like I was doing nothing but dancing in circles, clapping my hands, and trying to move among all the size -3 teenagers who giggle every time you shake your butt.

Anywho, if you have the opportunity to take a class or go with a friend, I HIGHLY recommend it. It's loads of fun, and you actually burn about 600-800 calories per class, depending on how impactful your instructor is. And guys? Get in there. Where else will you find tons of ladies shakin' their groove thang in spandex? Just be nice and don't drool.