Monday, July 5, 2010

A first: A FAIL in the kitchen.

So it's ridiculously hot here, we've only put air conditioning in the upstairs bedroom, so the kitchen is sweltering. Yet, I've felt the urge to bake something unconventional. While I was hovering around the interweb, I found a recipe that I thought would please the fam--fluffernutter cupcakes. I'm not a fan, it's the marshmallow icing. I really don't at all like marshmallows. The kidlets and Husband do, so this can't be that bad, right?

Well, I was first nervous about the recipe. Not knocking someone else's recipe writing skills, but 2 cups of brown sugar and only a teaspoon of baking powder? Oil, no butter? And so much cream of tartar? Now, first of all, it didn't tell me how many this recipe would yield, and I hate flying blind. I did seventeen cupcakes, and a 9 x 13 pan. So I've now used almost everything in my pantry.

As for how the cupcakes came out? They sucked. Forget rising, I think they receded. I know brown sugar can reduce, but this is terrible. It came out something like a lead-peanut butter brownie. And the texture was just awkward. I can't even describe it. Except for that I want to drink milk right out of the container, and I don't really like drinking milk at all.

And the frosting? I'm pretty sure I could do body work to the car with this stuff, it's consistency is something similar to Bondo. My stand mixer was even having a hard time with it. I can't even bring myself to think about how I am going to clean the bowl, I'll just let it soak overnight--like you do with the green bean casserole dish at Thanksgiving.

I'm really upset, because honestly, I don't often fail in the kitchen. Especially when I bake. I can't even think of the last time I did. And I really can't stand when it's a recipe that uses every stock item I have in the pantry (shh, don't tell the kidlets that I stole their peanut butter to make the recipe. What? I wasn't about to use my natural, organic peanut butter, would you?). On the bright side, I can actually see all the remaining items on my baking shelf now that there's significantly less marshmallows in there.

You know what this means, though, right? I'm going to have to come up with a fantastic recipe so I can continue to flex my baking muscles. And it's supposed to be just as hot tomorrow, too. Damn!

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