How I know I'm turning into my mother.

We all get to that point in our life, where you cross over. You know what I mean, you go from "I'll never do/say/be that like my mother did" to "OHMYGOD, did I just do/say that?" It's scary. But fear not, we are all now adults, and we've managed to make it this far based on how our parents raised us.

However, lately, I've been noticing more momisms coming out. Observe:

1. My pantry and freezer are full, but I have "no food in the house". You remember that one, right? I couldn't tell you what I have in there (10 cans of various tomatoes, 6 boxes of cereal, 9 boxes of pasta, 11 jars/cans of pasta sauce, 4 freezer bags full of homemade chicken stock, 2 whole chickens, 13 pork chops.... this could go on) I have some that make me more cranky than others, I'll explain.
2. I freak out when I have 2 pounds or less of butter in my freezer. Okay, my mom never did this one–I actually found out this year that you could freeze butter, and all my prayers were answered, angels sang, babies danced, it was an amazing day. Still, I feel like I can't dive into those 2lbs of butter. I'm not sure why I'll need them, I just do. Hey, you never know when you're going to have to whip up some homemade buttercream. (Trust me, do it once, you'll understand.) 
3. I stress over running out of laundry detergent. Now, I've made my own detergent for almost the past year, so running out really doesn't happen. And I don't know why I freak out about it, but I do. Maybe it's because everyone in my family are messy eaters. Crazy? You tell me. 
4. Chocolate. Whenever I'm in the baking aisle, I always fret over whether I have semi-sweet chocolate chips at home. Not that I use them that often, but hey... you never know. As for how this relates to my mother, you can always tell when she has spent too much time in the line waiting for checkout. Her candy stash grows exponentially.
5. I have less patience for other people's kids. I know, most moms are not able to actually come to terms with saying this. But I don't. And honestly, it's not the kids of people I know. It's the kids that are running wild in WalMart, and their parents aren't even trying to make them stop running. We have friends that have 4 (!) girls, and they take them out in public together from time to time, and they are well-behaved. Yes, sometimes one of them is having a bad day or has a melt-down, but that's just the way it is, and you're allowed melt-down passes. But these kids who are chasing each other and knocking into everyone in an already crowded store? I want to run them over with a shopping cart. No one actually wants to go shopping in WalMart, so add this kind of crap, and I just want to scream.
6. If I am buying something with a coupon or for a reduced price, I expect that coupon/price. Otherwise, I don't want it. I'm an avid coupon clipper. I don't use expired coupons, and I adhere to coupon rules. I plan my food shopping based on sales. When I've visited your godforsaken horrific store because you have Lunchables for $.89 and chicken at $.89/lb, I expect to pay those prices. It's simple, right? So when I purchase 15 Lunchables, but am still putting my groceries on the belt and don't see until you're onto other items that my item is ringing $.10 more, don't eff with me because I want them at the advertised price. It's not my problem that they aren't ringing in right. Or that it takes you forever to change them because you have to do it manually. Don't argue with me, and don't refuse to bag my groceries because it's not my fault. And your smug manager who looks like he's a day over 17 can shove it, because if he gives me attitude again, I'll find someone higher than him to bitch to. Market Basket, anyone?
7. Speaking of MB, I cannot stand it when families shop together and bring all 22 children and can't decide on what brand of sliced pre-packaged meat to buy. It's all the same crap from Oscar Meyer anyways, it just looks different. Couldn't one of these 7 adults you've brought with you stay home with all the kidlets? Seriously, is there a need for all of you to pack in your Toyota Camry with covers on the headrests and go grocery shopping? (And would it kill you to take a shower first? Or sometime this week?)
8. If I pay for a service, I expect that service to be provided. If you offer me a 5-year warranty on a large ticket item, and I require service or replacement, I expect to receive it. I once paid for the extended wear warranty on the first couch set the Husband and I purchased together. It was a custom couch, chair and ottoman with our selected fabrics. Within two years, the legs on the couch broke. The padding on the arm fell through the frame. The fabric was worn well before its time. I can't even tell you how frustrating it was to deal with the warranty company. They sent someone out to "look" at the damage first. And he was like, "Wow. You've had this for two years and you don't have kids?" I've seen couches in nightclubs wear better than that piece of garbage. ONE YEAR later, we replaced the couch, because I couldn't battle with the company any longer. I was offered 50% off another custom couch in the store, but we chose not to go that route, for obvious reasons.
9. I will not stand for people talking down to me because I'm a woman. My mom was a very independent woman. She was a woman working in a man's field, and she spoke up when she needed to. She gave 110%, and in return, she expected her employees to follow through on their promises. You promised that car to be painted by tonight? Better be done. She was a very fair boss, but she didn't take the bullshit. She raised me the same way. I don't talk to people in a way that I wouldn't want to be talked to. (See #6) But don't think that you can speak above me based on the situation we are in. If we're looking at a car, don't assume I'm only interested in how it looks. Don't try to play the white knight when I'm purchasing brake fluid in your auto parts store. I know what I'm doing. And when I've read my manual and it tells me what specific kinds to use or not use, don't tell me you think I'm wrong before you've even asked what make/model I'm buying for. And don't assume that I don't know how to drive because I'm a girl. I'll drive a manual transmission vehicle in 4-inch heels and whoop your ass in front of your boys while I apply lipstick. (Not that I wear lipstick, but I keep it for occasions like this). Just keep me away from granite curbs. =)
10. I say the damndest things. Like "did you hear me tell you no?" or "Do you have a hearing problem or a listening problem?" or "Are you out of your mind?" or how about, "what did your father tell you when you asked him?" or the big one, "Boy, don't make me come over there, I'll wash your mouth out!" (well, my mom didn't say "Boy," because, well, she didn't have one.)

What momisms do you say or remember? 

How to donate to the food pantry.

In an economic downturn like the one we're in, it's important to remember that more people than ever are forced to turn to their local food pantry to keep them nourished. Most of these people don't want to be shopping there either, but we are in dire straights right now; don't wait for the mailman to offer to pick up groceries. While I'm saddened by the disaster in Haiti and all the other places we're saving right now, I believe that charity starts at home, so that's where my money goes. I give the pantry whatever I can as often as I can, and not just around holidays. How about right now, when people are paying the highest heating bills? Don't forget summertime, when parents are struggling because kids are out of school and are no longer able to be fed by the reduced lunch program.

Not too long ago, our town had a few food drives sponsored by the Boy Scouts and the Postal Workers. I noticed my neighbors all had some groceries to give—which is good—but to my surprise, they were all loaded with cans of tuna. While I applaud the effort, it's important to remember that some of these people buying at the food pantry are your neighbors, colleagues, church members, and parents of your kids' sports teams. Many of them are spending so much money on saving their houses, that they just don't have the means to supply food, too.

So put yourself in their shoes. You've finally made the decision to suck it up and visit the food pantry. You get there, and there's nothing but cans of tuna fish. These people are struggling, but they want to eat good, too. I'm all for starting in your own pantry, just remember to reach beyond the tuna. How about some rice, or pasta, or instant potatoes? Those items fill you up. Canned tomatoes can be turned into pasta sauce that can feed a family heartily. Peanut butter is full of vitamins and nutrients and can fill the tummy. Think of the items you like to cook, and imagine your next door neighbor is the one in need. Don't forget to look at items like vegetable oil, cake batters and icings, spices, parmesan cheese, things like this that the grocery store will even put on sale for $1.00 each. And who doesn't like to make brownies every now and then? Wouldn't this put a smile on your face?

While most flyers for food drives will ask for non-perishable items, call your food pantry and find out what you can do about perishables. Because let's face it, it's the fresh foods that are the most expensive. Our food pantry is open one night a week for a few hours. Perhaps you can buy a few gallons of milk and bring it right at the opening, this way families can have milk, bread, and even some fresh veggies. And if you happen to work for a grocery store, bagel shop, or some place that may have to throw out food at the end of the day (not eaten, obviously), see what you can do about helping out. Most people that I know don't mind day-old bagels, I'm pretty sure the needy wouldn't mind either. If you've got a garden, call the pantry and find out if you can donate a portion of the 900 zucchini and squash whose plants took over everything else. And if you've got nothing, go grocery shopping and hit up the sales—just keep your receipt for the tax write-off.

Because I must say it, be sure you're not giving canned foods that have expired (it does happen), and generally things you'd want to eat. There's a very slim market of people that enjoy canned beets, and these people have already been through enough. I'd be appalled if I had to visit the food pantry, and all I could come away with were lima beans, tuna, and other people's discards. Wouldn't you?

Lastly, if you're not into people, but want to save the animals, contact your local animal shelter or SPCA and see what they need. I once read a sign that the SPCA needed cat litter (the non-scoopable clay kind), and I went to WalMart and bought 200 lbs of litter. I spent very little money, because that is the cheap kind that's around $7 a bag. The lady at the front desk cried when I told her I needed to know where to back up the truck. Forgo the bird seed, but they always need used towels, newspapers, and food. I knew a lady that worked at the SPCA and I'd bought a 40lb bag of food that my dog wouldn't eat. Because I knew her, she took an open bag, but they don't normally. Always, call and ask. These are mostly volunteers, and they're overcrowded because too many people are struggling to feed their families, they can't also provide for their animals.

Book Review: Eat Pray Love

So, based on everyone's rave reviews on this book, I've decided to check it out from my local library and give it a shot. Since I have more time, I figure I should read more. Sounds easy, right?

Quickly, this book is a memoir where the author chronicles a year in her life. Following a nasty divorce and the breakup of her rebound, Liz sets off to spend a year overseas. Her first four months is in Italy, then to India and finally to Indonesia. You'll have to read it as for why she chose those places, I think that's necessary.

Thing is, I really didn't care for the book itself. I liked the premise behind it, a woman taking control of her life and embarking on new things to try and ultimately find herself. That part, I agree with. I think that anyone that may have this sort of opportunity would be silly not to take it. Because I think you cannot properly love someone else until you love yourself. I realize that there's times where we don't love ourselves all the time, but you have to accept who you are as a person before you can really expect anyone else to. So the basis of the book, I thought was great. I just found the rest rather boring.

Not many people I know would be able to actually leave their life for a year and take off. It just so happened that her publisher pre-paid her for the rights to the book she'd write about it. Which paid off, I guess. Truth be told, I'm still reading it, as she's in Indonesia right now and I'm just bored to tears. I'll try to get through it and perhaps my view will change. Honestly, had my library actually had a copy of Jen Lancaster's latest book Pretty in Plaid, I would have come home with that. Because I feel like a memoir needs to be funny—like Jen's—or incredibly moving, like Montell Williams'.

The worst part for me? Going to Liz's horrific website and seeing such a terrible cut-out picture of her. Who allowed her designer to create this atrocity? And the use of Comic Sans? Someone shake me, I must be having a nightmare.

At least we weren't in public.

Son just came out of the bathroom and said,

"Mom, you're going to have to put the candle on because I'm a big boy now."

Sigh. 

Necessities in Mama's Kitchen

While I know there's a few absolute staples in the kitchen, I'll start basic. Knives. I believe that above even an amazing set of pans, you should start with a good set of knives. By "set," I mean that you really only need 2-3 knives, not that block full of knives sold in every place imaginable. Think I'm crazy? Hang on, this will be a good ride.

My main knife is a 6" Calphalon forged Stainless Chef's knife (purchased from the outlet with a 10% off sticker and on sale, I paid $11.99 for it. And I swear I didn't have to rob anyone or whip out my ghat). It's big enough for most anything, yet small enough that I'm not worried it's getting away from me. I also have a 5" Pampered Chef Utility knife, which is like a small version of my main knife. I bought this one first, but when the Husband started hanging out in the kitchen more, we needed a second knife. I must impart the importance of a forged, weighted, stainless steel knife. Those knives that come in the block, even the $150 set are crap. You'll know just how crappy once you use a real knife. And half of those knives are just filler. Sure, it's nice to have a nice just for boning, but most people don't even know the proper way to use it or how to even bone poultry or fish. And seriously, those are so flimsy that I've felt like the bone is going to win every time I used one. I feel much more confident with a real knife.

I also have a forged stainless paring knife, which I pull out to do things like peek kiwi, but it doesn't come out that often. (It's too damn small and I lose it, really). I recently bought a new bread knife, and I'll get into that one later. And I think that's honestly all you really need.

With these knives, you must care for them. I bought a fine sharpener with mine, so I sharpen it about every 3 times I use it. You probably should sharpen it each time, but seriously, I forget to put on socks some days. And despite what some Calphalon "Knife Gurus" may tell you, have it professionally sharpened about once a year. Yes, the guy at the Calphalon store told me I would "spend hundreds of dollars in sharpening, you should just replace them instead." Well, I wasn't sure what it would cost me to have them sharpened, so I embarked.

Now, I am lucky to live up here in Hockey Country, and not too far from me is Mount Saint Charles Academy. They turn out professional hockey players like Virginia Tech turns out criminals. So to my luck, LeMays Sharpening is a Pop-And-Son operation out of Pop's house. Everyone in the area recommends LeMays, so I entered their address into the navigation and set on my way.

I found the house, tucked away on a quiet street a snowball's throw away from Mount and went in the side door. Where Son was working and sharpened my knife as I waited. I thanked him and paid... wait for it... $3! Yes, THREE DOLLARS! I can't imagine going broke on knife sharpening at $3 a pop. And let me just tell you how S.H.A.R.P. this knife now is. Wow. I thought that $12 was the best I ever spent on a knife, but this $3 is a close second (only since I'd need to purchase it before I sharpen it, right?). If you're local and looking, they sharpen ice skates for $5, but they'll sharpen anything that can be sharpened. HIGHLY recommended.

So, run out and get you a real knife for everyday use in the kitchen. Seriously, it'll make a difference in the way you cook. I think I'm taking mine with me next time I travel to my mom's. Hopefully airport security won't oblige.