Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Too girly for my own good?

In a past life--before I was the Mama In Red, I was the college girl in adidas windpants--I used to be a bartender. Which is apparently a job you can never retire from. I highly enjoyed it. It was the perfect job for me at the time. But it made me way more picky about my drinks. I was never a martini gal, and if I was, it was dirty. Please don't bring any frou-frou concoction to me. Don't treat me like a little girl, I can lift a keg forchrisakes.

Fast forward to now. I'm still not a girly drinker. I don't consider Arbor Mist to actually be wine, my red wines aren't chilled, and please don't think I will ever order a cosmopolitan. I'm still set in my ways, I like a Bloody Mary that I can chew, I don't drink anything from the bottom shelf, and I still prefer Jack Daniels to most other liquors. However, I am a margarita girl. That is "my drink." I'm good at making it, and I can suck it down just the same. But then, tonight, I realized I had some PAMA Pomegranite liquor left over. And a bottle of vodka from the Husband's birthday party. So I decided to find from the rubble break out my martini glasses, which until now have only held strained margaritas. And how was it? Delicious. Next up on my list is a chocolate martini. But it may have to wait, I mean I am trying to be healthy and all. Just keep it our secret, kay?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

What the HELL is going on around here?

The past few weeks have been insanely busy. I keep thinking that it'll slow down, but really, that's just a crazy thought. And I'm okay with that. I'd rather be busy than not. I've got a ton of freelance work (yay!), lots of family & friends' get-togethers, and just events in general. It gets us out of the house and wears the kidlets out, so that's good, right?

A few weeks ago is when it started happening. I was using the microwave to melt some butter for something I was cooking. I took the butter out and shut the door. And then the microwave continued to try and work. At first, I heard the clicking, but dismissed it. Then I noticed the light was flickering inside the microwave. I opened, put butter in, turned it on, and when it shut off, it was fine. It started again after I took the butter out and shut the door again. I realized that the plate on the bottom was attempting to spin, too. I decided to pretend I saw nothing and walk away.

Then the tv started. We'll be watching tv, and it will switch off. It will stay off for about five minutes and switch back on. It's random. It won't happen while the tv is on in the background (like if I've got it on a music channel), but the minute you sit down to watch something, it will start. Thank goodness for Tivo! The Husband thinks it can be fixed. I just ignore it.

This past weekend, it was the dryer. At the time, the Husband and I were debating what to do about our washing machine. There's nothing mechanically wrong with it, but it's a front loader, which I thought I would love. Turns out? I hate it. I'm not sure why, but our clothes stink. Bad. At first, we thought it was the detergent I've been making for the past year. So I went out and bought Arm & Hammer and some Bounce. I traded out detergent, stopped using vinegar, took out the dryer balls, and replaced everything with the stuff I used to use. No change. Well, slight perfumey change, but that's to be expected, right? I got some washing machine cleaner. It seemed to help at first. I clean out the door boot. So we were debating on trading it in for a top-loading machine. And the dryer started acting funky. The heat settings would constantly scroll while it's on and then it would shut off. I searched online. I tried using it anyway, but it didn't dry anything. So I ordered the $180 control panel and pulled the plug out of the wall so I didn't have to hear it beep incessantly. We decided to table the decision on the washer. This morning? I go to put some towels in as a test. Works perfectly. ARRRRGGGGGHHH! Luckily, there's a return policy.

Then, yesterday, the Tivo box wouldn't come on. I said "Screw it" and went upstairs and watched Good Morning America in the bedroom. Apparently, while we were out in Boston ALL DAY, the Tivo decided to turn itself on. Most likely, it was right after we left and was on for eight hours.

So I don't know what the hell is going on around here. Now, I know what you're thinking, we've already discussed how appliances and I don't mix. And the Mac we discussed in that posting? Died a slow and painful death. One that apparently my father's electronic genius intervention could help. But this is just not fair. I asked the same question to the Husband, and his answer was something like, "Well, you live in the house, what do you expect?" He's probably right. I must have some sort of a force field around me that causes anything electronic to freak out.

And this is precisely why I have absolutely no interest in an electric car. Can you blame me?